Just a few lines..

Just a few lines..

If u ever took the time to know me without reservation or preconceived notions, u'd find me to b an exquisite ill fitting anomoly, personable, but ill non the less. Y so? Since birth, i've worn chaos, bore confussion, supped with misery and frequently lay with woe. At first i didn't have a choice but as age ushered n knowledge, i honestly never knew the choice was mine and yet i refused to accept me as a loser.. I pushed harder, rode longer, bore more pain than many of my counter parts who n their simplicity, had the one thing i longed for: family.. C, they had a support system, even if only two or three while me on the other hand was negated to a mother who ousted herself from her ppl, siblings who were more my children than my brother and sister and a bloodline who ex-communicated me as if that was the most painful thing imaginable and for many moons it was. I wondered through this earth searching through every nook and cranny, leaving no stone unturned n pursuit of my happiness and only came up with a few morsels that would lead to the breakdown of the century.. I turned to ppl n order to feel validated. I turned to sex cause if it felt that good, maybe my worth would b reflected through consistent appreciation. I turned to weed because it revealed a side of me that had been caged n all of my life and to add unto that revealation came a window of opportunity for darkness to wage war against my immortal.. Then i turned to riotous living as i became a 21st century gypsy n the way of my ppl who were found wondering n the wilderness and were as nothing. As my beloved elders, i too was located.. U c, ill fitting becomes me because i never did quite fit the mold and if only u could c me u'd know i'm too damn big.. I am anomoly because i'm quite peculiar and am not here to b understood more than my need for love and acceptance as i am and so i receive u as u r.. Will u join a megar ole outcast as myself? I hope u will.. Lets get on with discovering this exceptional discover..

Long Story Short

They often stare and ponder me as if im some ill fitting anomoly.. I used to wonder about their reactions if they knew of my struggles: the snatching away of my innocense; the rejection from my bloodline; the lack of guidance from he who should've been there to hold my hand; the stronghold of that fuckin narcotic which altered my only source of provision; the abuse spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally; the absorbing of vapor through my cloth... i wondered if they would begin to understand or at least attempt, but alas, they gave not two shits.. they sought to destroy me, slander my name and they even robbed me of my livlihood.. and on top of that came forth the very forces that drove said people.. this darkness bogarded it's self nto my outer, inner most and sought to slay that special part of me and it drove me to the edge of lunacy. I grappled for many years with the immense pressures weighed down upon me night after night and no one ever knew due to my disarming smile, but that never stopped the pain i felt.. fast forward to today, i no longer give a damn what one may c because i recognize what i exude and that will have to be enough.. wonder no more young one..

The Flesh

The flesh is not as complicated as man would like to belive. N fact, its the most basic as mysteries go: it wants what it wants when it wants it and needs nothing more than a mere prick of the pin to enrage its gorging appetite. Men nvest fathomless amounts of wealth nto the comprehension of mankind when understanding is very simple: God or our version of he.. What r u battling with? Locate the source of ur desire or the gateway initiation and u will locate ur key. Now im not at all implying concise simplicity but i can assure u its much easier then remaining within ur current situation, that is if u desire change.. The end? Not hardly..